Tag Archives: Rejection

What Screenwriters Should Say When Rejected

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“When it’s over for a woman, it’s over. You’re not getting an appeal.” – Jack Nicholson

“No one wants your stuff” – William Goldman

“Everyone gets a lot of no’s. It’s almost always more no’s then yes’s.” – Vince Gilligan

If you’re a professional football player, you’re signing up  to get tackled. Even the kickers take a fair share of brutal shots.

If you’re a boxer, you’re signing up to get punched in the face.

If you’re a screenwriter, you’re signing up to get rejected. A LOT.

There is no avoiding it. Think of your favorite screenwriter. Be it David Mamet, Aaron Sorkin, Paddy Chayefsky, et al, they’ve all heard the most four-lettered of all four letter words: “PASS”

Let’s not mince words, rejection sucks. It is one of the great fears in life up there with spiders and public speaking. And rightfully so. If one thinks of their most painful moments in life, it’s reasonable to guess some of those are directly because of rejection. It reduces grown adults to tears, it wrecks self-esteem, it jades optimism and can often send one down a self-destructive path.

So it is no wonder that when some people turn away from the creative life, “fear of rejection” is often a primary reason. The idea of pouring your blood, sweat and tears into something artistic only to get a “meh” or a “PASS” from either the audience or the gatekeepers is not, on paper, the best way to spend one’s days.

Over the past few years, I’ve been fortunate to have some success and create some in-roads. I’m in the process of signing with some representation as we speak. But I’ve also dealt with A LOT of rejection. In fact, some actors have told me they think screenwriters deal with more rejection than they do. That’s a scary stat, though not an insurmountable one.

Because one thing I’ve learned is entertainment industry rejection is a lot different from real-life rejection.

When someone doesn’t want to go out with you, it sucks. And a lot of times, the terms are not negotiable. There may be no physical attraction, the philosophies don’t mesh, you just don’t enjoy each other’s company etc. The internet is filled with ads about “how to trick people into going out with you” and fortunately, I’ve never had to use those so I can’t verify their results.(For the record, I remain dubious of those claims.)

If you’re an aspiring screenwriter and are scared of being rejected, let me assure you it is not like “I don’t like you anymore” or “I’m breaking up with you.” It’s still painful to get a pass on your script but it’s really not the same thing. Scripts being passed on are not a personal judgment and shouldn’t be taken as such.

“Your script doesn’t fit our slate” is very very different from “I hate you, wish I never met you and never want to see you again.” There’s a ton of reasons why a company (production or management) will reject your work that have nothing to do with the quality of the script.

*They don’t have room on their slate for your project.

*It wouldn’t be a good fit for the leads they have deals with.

*They may think it’s too risky for them.

*They may not know how to market it.

*They may not be able to afford it.

And there’s one thing every Screenwriter should say to a PASS – “Thank You.”

Seriously. Say Thank You.

First of all, no one owes you a read. No one owes you a yes. No one is waiting to bow down to the brilliance of your script. Everyone you’re pitching to has read a pile of scripts taller than Andre The Giant. No one owes you anything so the fact that they are taking a few minutes or an email or a phone call to hear your idea is a big deal. You don’t have to grovel or go into penitent-man-will-pass mode. But say Thank You. I open and close all of my pitches with “Thank You for listening to my pitch.” Time is the most valuable thing anyone has and showing the proper respect for one’s time will never hurt and only show you’re a professional.

Even if you get a pass, say Thank You.

Not everyone has the good graces to call and say “Sorry, we’re passing.” Some folks will just leave you hanging because they’re scared of hurting your feelings. (***Note to those folks: I suggest giving the bad medicine. It hurts, sure but it also tells us to look elsewhere instead of holding onto false hope.) If someone tells you they’re passing but you then respond like a professional, you’re now not dealing with rejection – you may have just made a new connection.

Being defensive doesn’t help anyone, least of all the screenwriter. Everyone knows you’re mad or hurt or upset about the Pass. Let me repeat that – EVERYONE knows you’re mad or hurt or upset about the Pass. You don’t have to tell them, it’s no secret. By all means, complain loudly over some libation to friends and loved ones. This is why God invented bars. But getting into a fight or being a smart-ass to the person passing only gets them to cross your name off of their list. Being a professional and being cool about it can get you in their rolodex. Because again – EVERY single screenwriter gets passed on. It’s how they respond to that pass that matters.

If you’re confused about why you got a pass, go ahead and ask. They may answer, they may not but if you’re open-minded and are receptive to their reasons, then your reputation only goes up. Hollywood is BIG business but it’s a small town. Falling outs, bad attitudes and unprofessional behavior are remembered.

Even I get defensive replies from writers if I say that I don’t have time to read their scripts or am not available for a collaboration. And it’s stunning and quite frankly, shameful. My schedule has been so busy lately, I’ve been unable to record any interviews for a while. For people to treat that or the producers and gatekeepers their pitching to with attitude is just downright selfish and rude.

It’s a cliché but it’s true – you will probably be seeing these people again and again. Let’s say a producer passes on you and you’re so indignant about the insult of the pass, you tell them to fuck off. You make a fresh start elsewhere and build up your screenwriting career. Years later you end up pitching the head of let’s say Universal for a big, big money show. In walks that producer you told to fuck off. They pass on your pitch – AGAIN – and your “fuck off” has gotten you nothing. Seriously, save the bitching for the bar. Sleep it off and get back to grind after the coffee washes away the hangover.

It’s Not You, It’s Them: For real. Production companies and management firms are looking to make money in a hyper-competitive marketplace that is changing at warp speed. We know there’s more Star Wars movies coming. How kids born today will be watching them in five-six years is anyone’s guess. So we screenwriters have to remember that Producers and Agents are not waking up and saying “How can I make some screenwriting dreams come true?” They’re waking up trying to survive – just like we are.

You’re talking to people who are balancing multi-million projects and making high stakes decisions with their careers on the line. Understand that before you walk in the room. Your script may be a huge part of your life but in context, it is a smaller piece of a much, much large industry with probably a million other decisions to be made even if you’re lucky enough to get a yes.  They may look at your project and say “can’t make that work right now” but the more you pitch, the more they hear your voice, the more likely it is they will soon be making it work.

I’ve gotten tons of passes. I’ve gotten zero “don’t come back.” In fact, I’ve gotten many “Not for us at this time, but we’d love to hear future ideas.”

Industry rejection is not permanent: Let’s say a company passes on you but you do some rewrites, maybe find a manager or that same script wins a few laurels on the festival circuit. That company maybe very open-minded to revisiting your idea. They don’t know everything and they know they don’t know everything.

Production slates and management needs are constantly changing. Today’s “pass” could very well be tomorrow’s “Where have you been??” which leads us to…

Research Who You Pitch: This is a very important point because it’s something agents, managers and production companies say all the time. Many aspiring screenwriters think that casting as wide a net as possible is the best strategy with queries and cold calls. If you’ve written the most revolutionary horror movie in years, chances are the company producing 10 rom-coms a year isn’t going to buy – or even waste their time hearing the pitch.

Yes, there are exceptions to every rule and maybe your horror will be what turns “Rom-Com Productions” into the next Blumhouse. It’s still a smart strategy to focus your efforts onto the people who are representing and producing the material you like to write.

I’ve made this mistake myself. I got a read from a manager who I didn’t realize repped like 80% comedies so my gritty crime drama got a pass with a “needs a lot more jokes.” Oops. I’m much, much more careful now and learn from my mistake, you’ll save some aggravation by heading off some of these rejections at the pass.

Every Pitch/Rejection Is An Opportunity: I know that sounds real saccharin but it’s true. This past year alone I had two rough pitch sessions. The people passed but the questions they asked me pointed out some clarity problems in the pitch. I put my “well, fuck you” aside and used their questions to rework my pitch. As a result, I’ve heard “YES” several times since. So quite frankly, if I saw those folks again I’d happily shake their hands and say “Thank You.” Those rejections actually helped me out huge and on a purely pragmatic level.

Listen to how people are responding, what questions they’re asking and the notes they’re giving. There is no better window into what the other side of the desk is looking for.

We Already Have Something Like It: One of the best you can get. Sure, someone got there first, but it also shows your idea is relevant and you’re onto something. If someone is buying and idea like yours, then in this competitive market it’s likely someone else is looking to buy yours. This pass is a big, flashing sign that says “KEEP GOING.”

If They Do Hate It: If you believe in your story, with your heart of hearts and think it should be told to the world and then you pitch to someone who responds “That’s dogshit” well, smile, say thank you and move on. Don’t look back. They’re probably not going to like your voice or your stories so you need to find the people who will.

I don’t always love to hide behind the blanket of “subjectivity” but there IS a matter of tastes to this business. That said…

Your Script/Pitch May Actually Be Terrible: Here’s the one none of us want to deal with but until it gets made, the idea of your script not working at all must remain on the table. Screenwriting is a strange vocation because even when we’re “done” the script is still a launching pad for production and post-production. And the script will go through changes, sometimes HUGE changes, during those processes. Scripts are constantly fluid and subject to reworking.

If your scripts are really generating no reception, no reads, no buzz or heat, it’s a good idea to take as objective a look as possible at the material. Maybe it’s your pitch. Maybe it’s how your idea is being presented. Maybe it is in fact your script.

A circle of readers or being a part of a writer’s group might help you out with this. If you don’t have access to that, there are sites like The Black List and script consultants out there to give you notes and coverage to get your story where it needs to be. (VET any script consultants. Don’t just give some schmuck who’s written two unsold scripts $$$ for notes. I’ve won awards and wouldn’t even think of charging – even if I did have time to read a stranger’s scripts.) 

So yes, the possibility your story isn’t working has to be considered during this discussion. Sometimes it is you, not them. But the doors are not slammed to you. If your rewrites help and you get the story on track, the same people who said no before may become your new champions when it’s ready.

Being as objective as possible or having the perspective of a reader are vital tools to being any kind of writer. So you can’t always chalk up the “no’s” to “well, what do they know?” Hell, constantly trying to improve your writing is a part of the quest – yes or no. Sell 12 scripts last year? That’s great, you should still be trying to get better.

There is no avoiding rejection and “PASS” on the screenwriting journey. But if you arm and prepare yourself properly, you’ll be able to survive this minefield. How many and how much you can take is up to you. I suggest you take all the no’s on the chin and learn everything you can from them. Say Thank You and put that pen back to paper.

Because one yes will wipe all the no’s.

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You Get One: What Happens When You DO Fail

I got some really nice feedback on my “Fear Of Failure” entry, so cheers all!   This week’s entry can be seen as a sequel to that little tome because since then well, old Handsome Timmy D had to seek out some of his own advice.  

I can’t get into too much detail for certain legal reasons (those terms & conditions on a contract aren’t there just for your health, you know) but let’s just say that there was an opportunity and there was a mistake in a script and said opportunity turned into rejection.  And there’s no one else I can blame for that mistake.  I made it.  It was my fault.  I could blame it on taking on too much, being overwhelmed or tired from various projects, but that’s all a cop-out.  I’m a freelance writer and producer.  I set my own schedule.  I made those decisions.  The mistake was mine and mine alone.

I failed.

So what do you do when you fail?  

Aspiring screenwriters are assaulted on many fronts by various platitudes and axioms that try to help take the sting out of the constant rejection that a writer faces.  What made this particular rejection sting was that it was possibly preventable.  This particular deal cost a lot of man hours and resources so for this to happen was nothing short of devastating.  And tweets of “just keep writing” or “every rejection is just another opportunity” don’t hold a lot of water when you watch all that time and work slip down the drain.  

Because here’s the thing – we can’t be afraid of failure.  But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like a mother fucker when it happens. Peyton Manning didn’t whistle while he packed up his locker after losing to Seattle saying “oh well, there’s always next year.”  I don’t know Mr. Manning but I think it’s fair to say that when watching his Super Bowl aspirations be swallowed up by the Seattle Seahawks in resounding fashion, his millions of dollars, numerous accolades and countless records set didn’t amount to squat.  At least not in that moment.  The pain of current losing can far outweigh the joys of past success.

The entertainment industry is a minefield of constant rejections.  Even if I were to lucky enough to sell a show tomorrow, it would then go to development where there’s plenty of time for it to be shelved.  Even if we shoot the pilot, the network may not pick it up for series.  Even if we get to series, the audience may shit on it and it might be cancelled within a few episodes.  There’s MANY more failures in the industry than successes, which is one of the main reasons why so many smart, rational people say “fuck that” and walk away from the starting line.  

And no one is immune from the pain of failures.  Did you know Jack Nicholson is still mad about being passed over for The Graduate?  You think George Lucas, deep down inside, is OK about how unpopular the prequels are?  And of course, I stated in a previous blog that Michael Jordan knows exactly how many game-losing misses he’s had.

There’s so many stories and interviews where the pain and misery of the rejection is glossed over.  “We passed so-and-so and it got rejected by every studio in town before so-and-so picked it up.”  Yeah, you think those days were skipping through the fields with butterflies sitting on their shoulders?  Yes, it’s part of the business, but yes there’s a lot of pain being reconciled as well.  After every pass, there’s a lot of looking in the mirror before the next meeting.  Because each pass, no matter how “part of the business” it is, is a kick in the nuts.

 

You want to cry.  You want to throw things across the room.  You want to hate everyone else who is successful.  The pain of failure is overwhelming and I think, sometimes in our minds, it’s more powerful than the joys of victory.  

Here’s a philosophy that I subscribe to and it’s one I’ve gotten from other writers of varying success:

You Get One.

One hour, one day, one week…one month or one year, that’s a bit long.  But you get one.  You can’t bottle up that pain.  You can’t just swallow down the agony of defeat, painting on a fake smile while tears stream down your face. You can’t just tell yourself, “I’ll just keep rewriting and it’ll get better lalala”.  That sounds as hollow as “There’s always next year.”

So go ahead and hurt.  Feel the pain, feel the anger, don’t bottle it up.  You need to cry over it?  Do it.  Who cares?  Want to put someone’s face on a punching bag and punch it infinitely.  Go ahead! (I think my face has ended up on a few boxing bags, much to my great amusement)  Go ahead, feel the failure and HURT. 

But for only one.  You get to hurt for one hour, one day or even one week.  I know of more than one person who’s had to lock themselves away for week watching People’s Court & Price Is Right while cussing the rest of the world until their resolve is built back up.  

I took my one.  The shitstorm rolled into port on a Sunday night like a Deadliest Catch act break.  Monday was a wash.  I forced myself to do my DDP Yoga and that was my positive achievement of the day.  The rest of the day was filled with a steady diet of the couch, daytime TV and generally being envious of the cat who’s major stress of the day was getting more treats or fending off my attempts at cuddles.  I was emotionally exhausted and daresay, in some small way could relate to those game-winning loses athletes suffer from.  I had the game winning catch that would take us to the playoffs in my hands – and then it hit the ground.  I was staring at the ball on the grass while the other team showered in champagne. (Only, I don’t have the 24 million dollar contracts those guys have but again, in those moments, for guys that really care, there is no money in the world.)

That Monday I plummeted to sleep.  Tuesday, I woke up, pulled myself out of bed and I was back at it.  It was hard, but that was the moment when the platitudes and axioms had to be heeded.  I took my one.  The time for feeling sorry for myself had passed.  There was work to do, there were changes to make, there were new deals to be made.   By coincidence or maybe that’s just the way it is, sure enough on that Tuesday afternoon – another deal appeared on the horizon.  It’s almost as big an opportunity as the lost one.  It’s not signed, sealed or delivered by any stretch but the fight is back on.  48 hours after the first deal went south, new games were already being played.  It was next year.

I saw the producer I work with the most a few weeks later.  I told him about this deal going south and the mistake I made.  He smiled wide and patted me on the back, clinking my glass.  “If you’re gonna get in the ring, you gotta take some body blows,” he said.  It was akin to that moment in Goodfellas after Henry gets pinched for the first time, “you broke your cherry.”  

I had experienced one of my early major rejections, one of many that a writer will face over their career (the length of which is up to them). I took my body blows, I took the pain – and of course, I stayed in the ring.  Quite frankly, I don’t know how to be anywhere else.

He’s right.  These rejections and failures are part of the business.  If you want to play pro football, you’re going to lose some playoff games.  If you want to win the UFC title, you’re going to be punched in the face.  If you want to be a screenwriter in Hollywood, you will face countless rejections.

So any aspiring writers who are reading this, I hope this offers some small comfort or a helpful reminder when the shitstorm rolls into your port:  It’s OK to hurt when you don’t qualify for the festival or when you don’t get staffed or that producer passes on your project.  Feel the hurt for that one hour, one day or even one week.  But if you really well and truly want this, you’ll  take your one then get back at it.  Because if you don’t, there are plenty of people out there who will.

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