It has a been a whirlwind journey for me since I launched the Express. I went back and forth about this venture because I knew it would require a lot of commitment which would take away from fictional writing and day jobs. But I’m a writer and expressing myself is what I do so I made that commitment and happy to report zero regrets with that decision so far. Incorporating other creative talents into the podcasting element of this blog has been possibly one of the best things I’ve done since joining the entertainment business 11 years ago this very month.
Over the past 6 weeks, I excited and humbled by the talents I’ve been able to wrangle onto the Express. A diversity of occupations, I felt, was vital to give this little venture any credibility. Along the way, we’ve explored the challenges facing women writers, compared writing styles between the US & UK and even managed to pay tribute to recently departed icons. I’ve also been able to pair up with the fantastic Dan & Travis show on iTunes and have joined them on the wonderful Chronic Rift network. I’m overjoyed with the results so far and quite frankly, am very pleasantly surprised at how quickly this little venture has grown.
I’m just a one man operation self-promoting on social media but I am exploring some exciting promotional options to help spread the word. I’m excited about the listenership numbers (47 countries have either read or tuned in) but based on all the positive feedback I’ve received I’m going to do my best to keep building the audience. To that end, I continue to ask: If you enjoy what you’re reading and hearing on the Express, please don’t be shy about posting on facebook, twitter, pinterest, twiter, google+, wherever and yes, twitter is probably the best promotional tool we have right now. We live in a time of saturated media so we all have to promote the things we enjoy so they get noticed.
Thank you very much especially to Megan Karasch, Tim Bannock, Mark Askren, Arnold T Blumberg, Shannan Leigh Reeve & Chelese Belmont of Beleeve Entertainment and Dan & Travis for their extra efforts in shouting the word about the Express far and wide.
If this is the first post your reading, welcome, I hope you enjoy! Below are the first 10 episodes of the Handsome Timmy D Express which explores various aspects of the creative life and screenwriting and the entertainment business from various corners of the entertainment business:
EPISODE 1 – World-renowned DJ Matt The Cat takes us through the world of radio – and soul music:
EPISODE 2 – Award winning screenwriter Megan Karasch gives a guide to self-publishing and writing sitcom pilots:
EPISODE 3 – Director & Digital Media Producer Mike Doto on what a director does & the ever-changing digital landscape:
EPISODE 4 – Awesome podcasters Dan & Travis one what podcasting actually is all about:
EPISODE 5 – Independent film producers Beleeve Entertainment on following your vision & their movie Penumbra:
EPISODE 6 – Director of Television Research Brian Veys tells us how TV Ratings work:
EPISODE 7 – Writer Joseph Lidster on writing about & with depression as well as some Torchwood & Dark Shadows:
EPISODE 8 – Publicist AJ Feuerman on image management & brand-building:
EPISODE 9 – College Professor & Author Dr. Arnold T. Blumberg on the mythology of zombies and comic books:
EPISODE 10 – Stand-up Comedian Talia Harari remembers Joan Rivers & talks about the challenges facing women in comedy:
And it’s just the beginning, Episode 11 will be posted tomorrow (and it’s wicked good) and I’ve got some great guests lined up throughout the fall and winter. The Handsome Timmy D Express goes onward…
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Quick-note: WordPress has assured me that the audio issues from last week have been fixed, but if you do have any problems playing the interview, post a comment & I will immediately address it. Thank you for bearing with me & I hope you enjoy the episode.
Time for Episode 10 of the Handsome Timmy D Express and this week I welcome Talia Harari who’s worn many hats in the world of reality television. However, this week we talk mostly about her experience in the world of comedy as she’s been doing stand-up in the Los Angeles area for 4 years now.
Talia takes us step by step through the process of coming up with material and the terrifying last few moments before walking on stage to make strangers laugh. She tells us about the rush of making a crowd laugh and those terrible nights when they don’t. And we revisit the topic of challenges facing women in comedy – and entertainment in general.
Also, Talia goes into great detail about working on set with Joan Rivers who recently passed making the world a lot less funny. This episode, I think, serves as a fitting tribute to a comedy icon especially because this contains some very not safe for work language so put the kids to bed, it’s time for Talia Harari on the Handsome Timmy D Express…
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Before Doctor Who returned in 2005 to become the huge global phenom it is today, a company called Big Finish got the license to produce first-run, full-cast audio dramas. And I’m happy to report they are still going strong to this day. Many of the stories were as good as any Doctor Who on TV (before or since) and several authors in particular stood out from the crowd in taking the good Doctor to brave, new frontiers. One of those authors was Joseph Lidster and I’m very excited that he’s my guest on today’s episode.
Joseph’s story “Master” which was part of the Doctor Who’s 40th anniversary villains trilogy in 2003 was a gothic murder mystery that unabashedly explored the nature of good and evil within one’s soul. I hated Joseph Lidster when I first heard this play because I thought it was simply brilliant. I remain inspired by the piece’s clear cut characters and unapologetic tackling of difficult themes.
When Doctor Who did return, the credit “Written By Joseph Lidster” found it’s way to our screens on the highly popular spin-off series’ Torchwood and The Sarah Jane Adventures, where Joseph continued to take the lead characters on dark – and often humorous – explorations of their nightmares and their fears. Joseph has since written for the TV show Wizards and Aliens which was produced by Russell T Davies and Phil Ford. Also for Big Finish, Joseph has written for and produced their licensed line of Dark Shadows audio plays. He’s currently working on a new mini-series for the line coming soon called “Bloodlust.”
With the shadow of Robin Williams’ suicide still cast, this is an open and honest discussion about writing about and with clinical depression. Joseph and I swam in some deep waters here which I feel are very beneficial to the overall conversation as we try to expand our understanding of depression and mental illness.I hope you enjoy:
The Big Finish plays we talked about are available here:
I turned 38 last week. Like most new ages, it doesn’t feel very different from the previous one. Not at first anyway. But 38, almost 40. Preventing accidents, I’m approaching a theoretical halftime. And many a blogger and writer has made a list of the 38 things they’ve learned in their near 4 decades on the planet Earth. I’ve found many of those lists interesting and informative, so I’m gonna share 38 life lessons. These are not meant to be absolute truths, but after learning some of these the hard way, I can vouch for their authenticity.
Oh and the last one just might be the meaning of life.
1- People who are very successful often talk about gratitude. People who are very unsuccessful often talk about blame.
2- Sometimes you have to take the heat. On the chin, like an adult and live with it.
3- I find weeks to be a better measurement of productivity than days. You will have bad days but those are quickly forgotten about if it’s been a good week.
4- Jealousy is the most misinformed and destructive emotion.
5- Grammar is the artist’s enemy.
6- Achievement forgives most if not all sin.
7- Don’t be mad at the young. One’s age and inexperience are truly things that can only be solved by time, no matter how much older people want them to hurry and grow up already.
8- There were no good old days. Older and previous generations have fucked the world up so much and so many times, they’ve got a lot of balls to tell the next generation how to do things.
9- Equality is a no brainer. Treat those who are different the way you’d like to be treated.
10- No one is waiting to hand you an opportunity. People will help you, but they don’t know who’s worth investing their time in so you have to ask. Be gracious should you receive their help.
11- Embarrassment is a choice.
12- One of my proudest accomplishments has been the elimination of boredom. We all have the sum of human knowledge in our pockets. No one should ever be bored.
13- Telling people to “wake up” is not a great way to get them to open their minds. Not a conversation starter.
14- It’s better to have a pet.
15- Don’t be the person that smells. The marketplace is filled with fragrances and scents. Regular grooming is not too much for society to ask.
16- Apologies, when you think about them, don’t amount to much.
17- The reasons why some people like you are sometimes are the very same reasons other people dislike you. Always listen to the people who like you. People who dislike you are irrelevant to any of your decision making.
18- Be part of the solution, not the problem. Everyone knows and can see what the problems are. Not everyone knows how to offer and implement solutions.
19- If you don’t like how something is being done, you just may have to do it better yourself.
20- Clichéd but true: “Woulda, coulda, shoulda” hold no weight.
21- It’s always better to look forward than back. Nostalgia is nice but it can be a trap. Today’s events are tomorrow’s nostalgia, so enjoy them while they’re here.
22- People making fun of you is not a valid reason to stop doing something.
23- There is such a thing as luck. Especially when it’s accompanied by hard work, perseverance and determination.
24- The response to success and failure is the same: do better. Never stop trying to improve.
25- Old wrestling proverb that’s true: “When everybody looks good, everybody looks good.” Even in a hyper-competitive environment, “Every man for himself” doesn’t do anyone any good.
26- Speaking of looking good: there’s no avoiding that physical attraction plays a part in a successful relationship. But that doesn’t mean said physical attraction is based upon what society defines it as.
27- Spend time with positive people who believe in you. Never spend any time with people who do not contribute to your self-esteem. Avoid at all costs the negative people who don’t want you to take the plunge because they’re afraid to jump.
28- “Why do you feel the need to say that?” is a question that answers itself. Especially for writers. We only feel the need to say things.
29- No one has the right to tell anyone else to “shut up.” No one man’s voice is more important than another’s.
30- “Doctor Who” may be one of the great metaphors for life. If you lined up the 18 year old version, the 25 year old version and the 38 year old version of me, you’d see three distinctly different people, but all the same man. I bet that’d be true for you as well.
31- I’m always stunned when I hear others or myself saying “Things never change.” The world changes radically and drastically all the time. Domestic violence, racial discrimination and even the absence of seatbelts were all once social norms.
32- Many very miserable, unhappy people have a lot of money.
33- People care very much what other people think of them.
34- Talent begets talent. Spending time with people more talented than you will only help make you more talented.
35- There is no justifiable provocation for abuse or cruelty.
36- When in doubt, be kind.
37- Adulthood is a myth. We may be older and wiser in some respects but we’re all just bumbling through, trying not to trip over the furniture and get a grip on our own individual pain.
38- Joseph Campbell is absolutely right. This philosophy, I believe, will solve many, if not all of a person’s uncertainty and stresses about life. Seriously, I can’t even begin to tell you how many of my problems disappeared when I finally understood and lived by this philosophy: “Follow your bliss. If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while waiting for you, and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be. If you follow your bliss, doors will open for you that wouldn’t have opened for anyone else.”
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Writers write things when tragedy happens. And as a member of the entertainment industry, how can I not share thoughts after the sudden and shocking suicide of Robin Williams?
As tributes go, just look on your facebook. It’s accurate to say that everyone’s social media is packed with personal favorite quotes, scenes and memories of Robin Williams who reached truly iconic status. Everyone from the local cab driver to Rowdy Roddy Piper to President Obama expressed deep sadness online at the loss. Even ISIS took a break from their attempted genocide to mourn Robin Williams.
To us, Robin Williams was more than an actor or comedian. He was part of the very fabric of our pop culture. He was a real-life wind-up toy never slowing down. He was a lovable alien and not just because of his Mork from Ork character. He was the same as us but different. It seemed like there was no possible embarrassment for his outrageous antics and while some of his movies weren’t always successful, he always was. Somehow Robin Williams was indefatigable, unstoppable, tireless. The world without Robin Williams – did anyone ever contemplate such a thing?
But he wasn’t those things. Not really. He was a human being. So many who have worked with him have expressed the memory of his endless kindness. But beneath that kindness was a vast mystery and that mystery is one we, as a people, are just scratching the surface of.
In the wake of Mr. Williams death, something extraordinary and courageous has happened. Social media feeds are now also being filled with people’s own battles with “mental illness.” I’ve seen blogs, facebook posts and even short but profound tweets in which people are opening up about this, the most misunderstood battle of the human experience. Battles, wars even, with depression, bipolar disorder, suicidal tendencies, you name it, think of whatever mental ailment and I guarantee you know not someone – but MANY people who’ve battled it.
And in addition to the many people you know, maybe you yourself are one caught in such a torment. Yet, with such a universality of cases, one thing many of those caught in the throes of this illness feel is a desperate sense of loneliness.
I wrote “mental illness” in quotes because as term it’s incredibly inadequate. The wide ranging scope of mental illnesses out there is hard to fathom but we shove them all under a catch-all umbrella thinking that explains everything. Imagine walking into a restaurant and when the server asks what you’d like to drink, you answer “Liquid.” THAT’S how we as a society treat “mental illness.” God almighty, talk about lunacy.
Yesterday was a very emotional day for me because I learned some things about quite a few people that I did not know. That I would not even suspect in a million years. We’re all talented at hiding our deepest shame from the world at large, aren’t we?
Now again, privacy forbids name-dropping, those people will tell their stories to those they want to share with, but I believe I can say I’ve had several close friends battle with deep mental illness before. In some cases, I hope I was able to help. I’m ashamed to say that I know of mutual friends who didn’t take these battles with mental illness seriously. I can’t point fingers, though, I’m guilty of the same with others I wasn’t very close to.
But yesterday’s public outpouring, which was almost confessional, from so many about their mental illnesses really brought home something I’ve wondered about casually for a long time and am now more convinced than ever.
We are all crazy.
And I don’t mean that in a bad, judgmental way. I mean that in the “it’s time to come to terms with who the crazy people are” way. THEY are actually US.
Do you know how many different mental illnesses there are? 300 and counting.
Do you know how many people suffer from a mental illness? 61 million a year, 14 million permanently.
It’s time to admit, we know nothing about this stuff but make critical judgments and engage in, sometimes very cruel, behaviors armed with that complete lack of knowledge. Except for our own personal experiences, of course. Because if you can look in the mirror and say you’ve never experienced some sort of mental imbalance, some sort of emotional instability, some sort of destructive irrationality – sorry, but you’re lying to yourself and you will never convince me otherwise.
My deep confession? Well, it’s hard but I’ve shunned the mentally ill for much of my life. Unfortunately – and in some cases tragically – I or people I love have been harmed greatly by some people’s mental illness. The specifics of these events are not for me to share, dear reader. We’ve got to keep somethings private on the internet.
Because of those events, I must confess to stigmatizing people unfairly. It was wrong. It’s shameful. It’s something I have to change, because that viewpoint doesn’t fit in today’s society. Not anymore. Now, that doesn’t mean I can completely forgive those who inflicted the harm I’m referring to. I’m not sure I believe that mental illness constitutes a get-out-of-jail free card for some. But that also doesn’t mean I should hold their actions against those who suffer from something completely different.
Goddammit, mental illness, the more I type the term, the more inadequate it becomes.
So what can we do?
I’m not a medical professional, I’m not a therapist, I’m not a psychiatrist, I’m not a psychologist, I’m not a sociologist. I’m not a escapologist or any other kind of -gist. I’m just a guy with a keyboard who strings some words together to offer to whoever’s reading what I think is some reasonable food for thought. These are by no means the cure-alls, but I’m not one to accept the notion, “There’s nothing we can do to change things.” (Seriously, how does anyone have this worldview? If this was true, I’d be drawing a deer on a cave wall instead of writing this.)
However, if anyone tries to tell me social pressures have nothing to do with these conditions, I’m not even going to listen to their argument. That’s as ridiculous as saying there’s no climate change.
How we treat each others has an enormous influence our individual self-esteems and our collective self-worth. “I don’t care what other people think.” Yeah, you know who really believes that? Psychopaths and sociopaths (also both forms of mental illness by the by.)
I’m not advocating the elimination of joking around and making fun of each other’s foibles, but I think there a certain attitudes and preconceived notions that need to change.
Suicide is NOT a coward’s way out – Fox News’ Shepard Smith (one of the reasonable voices over there) lashed out against Robin Williams calling him a coward. After a barrage of outrage against him, he’s had to apologize and rightfully so. “It’s cowardly,” “It’s selfish,” “It’s weak.” These are the things we say about people who are in such anguish the only recourse they can comprehend is the ending of their own life. It’s not 1994 anymore. It is not accurate, appropriate or in anyway acceptable to call suicide the coward’s way out. It also helps bring no further understanding to the anguish, guilt and hopelessness that bring people to their own destruction. If all we do is sneer at someone’s prison, we’ll never find the key to help get these people out.
“You have issues” – We need to stop saying this to people. We ALL have fucking issues. Standing in higher judgement over someone over this is possibly the most hypocritical thing to do. There is something somewhere in your past that is informing your judgment in an unhealthy way. Guaranteed, as I write this, that last statement is true.
“Get over it” – We need to stop commanding people to do this too. We’ve all heard and said this about people and their various frustrations.Sure, they do need to get over it. But if it was easy to just get over it, every therapist would be flat broke and there’d be no self-help section in the local bookstore I hope you still have. Think about your worst heartbreak, firing, broken friendship, betrayal. Think about what you had to do to come peace with that event and carry on living healthily. Now, think how absurd it is to judge others for not finishing that journey yet. My God, the temerity of someone to be emotional confused – how dare they?
“You’re oversensitive.” – I’ve gotten this one a lot. Maybe this is my big confessional. I’m very emotional. I’ve been known to shed a tear over great movies and favorite TV shows quite frankly. The last episode of Blake’s 7, forget about it. (I seriously don’t know if I can watch An Adventure In Time And Space again.) When someone says something that hurts my feelings and I bring it up, “God, you’re oversensitive” is many a response. (Though mind you, I’ve seen the same people get just as sensitive if not more so when THEIR feelings are hurt) But fine, I’m oversensitive. My question is so what? So fucking what? I’ve been call this a lot but I’ve never been given a valid reason why this is any bad thing.
(And maybe I’m being too conciliatory here. I put my words out there across the big bad internet, inviting scorn and criticism from all corners of the globe. Not bad for someone so sensitive.)
But the point is – are we really taking people’s feelings into enough consideration? Isn’t that what consideration means? Is it really truly so hard to go through life being careful not to hurt each other’s feelings? The words we say to other people are not forgotten the next day, they will stick with that person for months, maybe even years or decades. There’s a lot of hurt feelings I’ve inflicted I wish I could take back. Best I can do though, is try not to hurt anyone going forward.
“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” A nice schoolyard saying but total bullshit. Words gut people’s self-worth. Words break people’s hearts. Words ruin people’s lives.
Words are like the ocean, if you don’t respect them, then a lot of harm will be done.
Should we tell people on the receiving end of cruelty to suck it up, or maybe would should tell other people to stop doing savage shit like this: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/13/zelda-williams-quits-twitter-robin_n_5674501.html
End The Stigma – This is another one I’m guilty of. Very guilty of. I’ve turned my back to some knowing that I’m not qualified to help. But is that really good enough a reason? Some people, of course, have closed themselves off to help and may be impossible to reach. But is that reason not to try? I know lots of folks who have been through therapy, rehab and hardcore psychoanalysis. They don’t deserve our scorn. They don’t deserve our pity. They don’t deserve anyone looking down their nose at them. They deserve our respect. They deserve our admiration. They recognized a serious problem and had the Goddamn guts to say “I will not live like this and I need help to get better.” They deserve a standing ovation from the rest of us. Because the rest of us may need their advice when we say “I will not live like this and I need help to get better.”
I saw also on some threads that the phrase “demons” is no longer an acceptable term for mental illness. I actually think it’s a good metaphor but if dropping that saying helps in the long run, so be it. We’ve all got to open to new understandings on this front.
Quick side-note: I’ve had many a heated and informed debate with people about gun control. Many people on the pro-gun side have pointed to mental illness as the real issue behind the now-weekly-almost-daily shootings. (1 dead, 2 injured just now in Santa Ana, CA) I’m all ears. Whatever we can do to keep guns out of the hands of those who are not in a sound state of mental health, let’s do it. (That is a form of gun control but shh, don’t tell gun rights folks)
We don’t follow our bliss. It’s stunning to me. We jump headfirst into a rat race which brings us lots of things. Ephemera like houses, cars, fancy clothes, and all that. Don’t get me wrong, I love nice things. I would like to have a jacuzzi and closet full of expensive suits like I was Ric Flair. Why not? But they are all byproducts of happiness, not the cause of it. When you ask people what really truly makes them happy, what gives them a bliss-state, they’re going to say a lot of things, but if they’re honest it won’t be any physical item that’s the source of their contentment. Paychecks give you security. Status gives you a table by the window. Nice things gives you jealous neighbors. Happiness is a much more difficult pursuit to define. Some of us (ahem) have made a enormous material and financial sacrifices to follow that happiness. Some of us walk a different path than everyone else’s rat-race. That is not crazy, that is not sick, that is deserving of no harsh judgement. Just the opposite. Happiness is the goal, not the nice house on the hill.
Something’s got to change. We all have to open our minds to new ways of thinking, new ways of understanding, new ways of helping. Because when a man who lived in one of the most beautiful and serene parts of the country, when a man who rose to become one of the very best at his chosen profession, when a man who had more money than he could spend, when a man who overcame powerful addictions, when a man who had a loving family, when a man who made everyone on the planet laugh (not sure that’s an exaggeration) – when he finds himself in a place of agonizing hopelessness, we’re all doing something wrong.
It’s been a long time since this person walked the Earth, but we still haven’t learned his greatest lesson:
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Quick Note: As you guys have figured out by now, these interviews are not recorded live. This week’s episode was recorded before yesterday’s still-stunning and all-too tragic news of Robin Williams’ sudden passing. I want to assure you that had we recorded after 4 PM yesterday, we would absolutely have touched upon Mr William’s career, especially his recent sitcom The Crazy Ones which would have fit into our discussion perfectly.A great many words have been written about Mr. Williams’ death. I daresay everyone’s personal favorite joke, TV show or movie is the finest tribute anyone can write. And if not, then this one is:http://lisajakub.wordpress.com/2014/08/11/farewell-to-robin-williams-a-thank-you-note/
This week’s interview is about all sorts of good stuff in the world of TV. My guest is none other than Brian Veys, the Director of Worldwide Television Research at MGM Studios. And by research, I don’t mean looking stuff up on wikipedia. Television research is the collection and analysis of ratings. With viewing figures coming in from a historically varied number of sources, that research is becoming more complicated every year.
Brian and I discuss the nuts and bolts of ratings analysis and how it’s not the be-all-end-all of whether a show stays on the air. We also discuss the ever changing landscape of media delivery platforms, how social media influences ratings (if at all) and Brian puts me on the hot seat to talk about the increased savvy of today’s viewing audience. This is a fascinating look at ratings analysis, something I didn’t know a lot about, and a real informed glimpse at how TV decision making works:
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Quick Note: I was going to blog this week about the plagiarism allegations against “True Detective.” But quite frankly, the allegations are so baseless, so ridiculous and so without merit, I did not want to give said accusers and their site even one more hit. I will explore the topic of idea “borrowing” at a later date. Besides Mr Paul J Garth repudiates the allegations thoroughly here: http://www.weeklyweirdmonthly.com/the-human-thresher-davis-padgett-pizzolatto-and-plagiarism-by-paul-j-garth/
On and off over the next few weeks, months and dare I say years, I’d like to visit some of the “rules” of screenwriting. Many an aspiring screenwriter has an inbox filled with material from various websites, webinars and publications promising the secret to “writing a feature script in 10 weeks” or “the most important elements of a TV pilot.”Some of this material is very useful and worthwhile.Some of this material, quite frankly, is snake-oil, especially when people talk about the r-word: rules.
It’s not really accurate to say the film and TV writing has no rules. Act lengths are established in TV by commercial sales so that of course influences the shape and flow of the drama. Movies, while commercial free, are given a set time limit to maximize number of screenings and not exhaust the human attention span. So yes, there are rules, formats, structures and limitations the writer finds themselves facing in the media arts.
But there’s much debate over the rules of screenwriting. You’ll find many a list of rules on the internet. Head over to our pals at google and type in “Rules Of Screenwriting” and you’ll find several credible websites listing very sensible and worthwhile “rules” of screenwriting. Your local bookstore, should you be so lucky to still have one of those, will be happy to sell you any number of books on screenwriting rules from a wide variety of well-established sources.
But the fact is, many screenwriting rules are often up for debate. Some rules I quite like, as they’re not really rules but mileposts to guide a writer along the natural flow of a story. There’s reasons why movies and TV shows flow in a certain order, the most important of which is the viewer likes it that way. Some rules I don’t buy into at all, such as “start late, leave early.” I’ve seen way too many great scenes in movies that start early and leave late. Recently, the screenwriting internet world was cleft in twain by the vociferous debate about whether or not it’s acceptable to type in “We See” in a screenplay. (For the record, I’m in the “it’s OK to use We See” camp.)
So really, when someone says “these are the hard-and-fast rules of screenwriting” I suggest to any screenwriter to take them with a grain of salt.
I’ve had many a meeting with professional writers, directors and independent film producers. Like, real, proper meetings about the development of projects and making a movie or TV show. Rules very rarely come-up. Format? Sure. Structure? Absolutely. But no one credible has ever said, “don’t do this, do do that.”(I have heard that from uncredible sources. Yes, I know that’s not a word, but I’m a screenwriter, I can just make shit up. It’s awesome.)
Speaking of credibility, I’m not a repped screenwriter so why should you listen to me? I placed in several festivals last year, including being a twice second rounder in the Austin Film Festival. This year, I continue to place and recently won the Chicago Screenplay Contest in the TV Drama Pilot category. I’ve been producing television for 11 years and I’m currently attached to several independent producers. Those are my bona fides and whether or not they’re enough to make you listen to me is completely up to you. If you stop reading now and never visit my blog again, no hard feelings, enjoy the rest of the internet.
But that’s the point of this, really. A lot of information and advice and rules that are bombarding many of today’s aspiring screenwriters can be dismissed as so much ephemera. The most important things screenwriters need to listen to is whatever will help them finish their script. The rest goes on the compost heap. Including my own blog. If the words I write are helpful, great! If what I’m writing isn’t helpful to you, my apologies and I wish you well on your writing adventures. For reals.
I will argue that, formatting and structure aside, there’s a whole world of valuable information out there but only one unbreakable rule. Ready? Here it is:
You have to actually write a screenplay.
You have to write it down. Write the thing down. On paper and everything. At least 85/90 pages.
Any mistakes you make are nothing to fear. Get the structure wrong? Head to your local pharmacy and pick up a pack of index cards for a few bucks. Get the format wrong? Lots of guides online to help you realign the plot points and act breaks. And there’s always that stack of books about “rules” on your nightstand to help you because those rules are mostly about structure and not really how to tell a story that will move millions of people.
Or the worst possible scenario: the thing totally sucks. Look, a lot if not ALL first drafts totally suck. We screenwriters will sometimes think that first draft is objectively brilliant since it was the culmination of many years of research and hard work, but the reader doesn’t care about that. If it’s “meh” they will tell you “meh.” (Or to put it another way, when was the last time you walked out of the movie theatre after watching a movie you absolutely hated and said “Yeah, but the crew worked real hard.” Because they did. The worst movie you ever saw had a crew that busted their collective ass. But the viewer doesn’t care if the movie doesn’t entertain or move them.)
Now, yes, you will hear stories of pitches, concepts and ideas selling in the room. In fact, the idea and the pitch are vital. So if you don’t have a script but sell an idea to Paramount for 80 million, good for you – you still have write the script (or else, Paramount’s gonna renege on that 80 million. Or just buy the idea and split the 80 million amongst other writers who will be able to brag at the rooftop bars “Yeah, I wrote that. It was hard.”)
And in this day and age, when Hollywood is being bombarded by more aspiring screenwriters than ever before (especially if one goes by the increased submissions in prestigious festivals such as Nicholl Fellowship and the Austin Film Festival) do you really want to take a chance on having JUST a brilliant idea?
Especially, because here’s another bit of buzz-kill.
Anyone in LA who tells people they work in the movies will be inundated “I’ve got a great idea for a movie!” You have a brilliant idea. Wow. That’s great. Guess what? I’ve got like 50. And I’m on the low end of brilliant ideas compared to some of the writers I know. For every one script a screenwriter sells, he or she may have 20 screenplays, equally brilliant but rejected, collecting dust in a hard drive before they can be taken around town again after the execs who rejected them have been fired. Brilliant ideas are just not enough to differentiate yourself around town, not anymore. (Besides, we’re screenwriters, we CONSTANTLY have brilliant ideas. Telling a screenwriter you have a great idea for a movie is like meeting Tom Brady and saying “hey, I can throw a football in my backyard.”)
I’m a grizzled veteran of a wide spectrum of reality shows. I’ve had to bite my tongue at many a BBQ and dinner party when someone quips, “X and Y are so funny together. They should put them into a reality show.” No, no they really shouldn’t. One little example of cuteness or wit over tapas makes for a fine first date. That’s not quite enough to invest millions of dollars and man-hours into a series that’s designed to build a large, fiercely loyal audience that a network can sell advertising to.
But what if someone really well and truly DOES have a brilliant idea for a movie that can revolutionize the entertainment world?GREAT! I’m all for it.
You still have to write it down.
If it’s that brilliant, that mind-blowingly-light-up-a-cigarette-orgasmic, if it’s really going to justify a studio head putting a down payment on a Ferrari then writing it down into a script should be a piece of cake, right?
But you see something happens when we put our brilliant ideas on paper. The brilliance somehow disappears. What makes it special becomes more elusive. The old “it sounds so much better in my head” monster rears his head.
And that’s OK. It’s fine when that happens. In fact, it’s normal. “All first drafts are shit” said Hemingway so don’t panic. Keep writing.
The art of writing is using words to translate and communicate experiences to a reader eliciting an emotional response. It doesn’t happen the first time or even the tenth time. But it can be done. And only if you write it down.
Once you write it down, you can reshape and remold and transform it until the images you see in your head that get you so excited are there on the page in a way that someone who’s never met you will see those very same images when they read it.
I’m repeating an old topic here, but it’s why I bristle whenever I hear “writing is rewriting.” Yes, you can write crap and make it shine in subsequent rewrites but you can’t get to that crucial stage without writing it down first.
I used to think everyone was capable of writing stories since we all expresses ourselves and our stories in one form or another over the course of the day. It feels painfully naive to write that, but after seeing too many empty notebooks, I understand now that nope, not everyone can write.
In fact, not a lot of people can write. The only way to find out if you can or not is in fact to write. And if you can’t, maybe you can learn how and become a great writer, but you have to start by writing.
Before the agony of realizing it’s not that good and needs a ton of reworking. Before the agony of dipping into the reservoir of human misery to pull out jealousy, embarrassment and sins that all contribute to interpersonal conflict. Before the sealing yourself off from the world to spend more time with imaginary people over real ones…before all that, it has to start with putting down one word, then another and another.
Unfortunately, I know many aspiring writers who are actually stopped by much of the material and snake-oil that’s meant to help them. I’ve heard people say “I’m not supposed to start writing yet because of [INSERT SOME BULLSHIT]” or “I haven’t done enough reading so I can’t start writing yet according to [THIS ASSHOLE] I read on a writing forum.”
Sometimes otherwise talented writers will psyche themselves out with “the studio doesn’t make movies like that today” or “why would anyone want to watch a TV show I would write.” This attitude always perplexed me. Yes, the studios may completely pass on your script – just like the pretty girl or boy at the dance said no, but don’t worry they’re not actually in cahoots with studio heads. Studios are CONSTANTLY looking for new writers, new ideas, new scripts because they don’t know that your script that you think no one will like won’t make them a billion dollars.
Aspiring screenwriters go through hell and back to get meetings with executives and production companies. I’m sometimes envious of those people who are so convinced that the answer will be “no.” What are other secrets are they not telling us?
I should amend that statement. Aspiring screenwriters – who truly believe in their work – go through hell and back to get meetings with executives and production companies. Ever watch a movie and think “How in the hell did anyone buy that script?” The writer knew how to sell it. The writer believed in it so much that not selling it wasn’t an option.
If you believe that much in your idea. If you believe that your idea can change Hollywood or entertain millions or even just find an audience and move people, then write it down.
There’s no rule about when or why to start writing. There’s no one way, no one right way or any wrong way to get the words onto the page. If you need to write out of order, do it. If you have to have a long, exhaustive outline before opening your screenplay software the first, time, more power to you. If you have to jog around the block 4 times counterclockwise before you can start writing – get jogging.
If you’ve started the screenplay and are stuck, go back to square one. “The only writing that happens is in your screenplay software, outlining and treatments are not writing.” Another bullshit rule. If you can’t get past page 30 or page 40, something is amiss with your characters and the paths their choosing. Revisit the treatment, draw out their goals and obstacles that are standing in their way. Head back to the index card aisle and buy some notebooks to write out who these people are and why they’re doing what they’re doing. (It’s back to school season so you may luck out on a sale.)
Just write it down. It’s the only rule that if you break, you have no story and no script.
Write your story down. Write down why you were possessed to tell it. Write down how it moved it you action. Write down how it speaks from your soul. Write down good stuff, bad stuff. Good scenes, bad scenes. Strange dialogue, good dialogue, stilted forced dialogue. Write down whatever comes into your head. Are you ready to tackle and reshape the story with open honesty that will bring out the truth of your characters? You’ll only find out if you write it down.
Write it down. Because someone, somewhere, is waiting to read it.
First of all, I want to thank everyone who shared the female Ghostbusters article. We’ll save the world one movie at a time. And again, if you like something I’m posting do not be afraid to share and spread the word. I don’t have millions to promote this little venture so every RT, facebook share really does help. Thanks so much! Also, my apologies again for the audio cutout in Episode 4. This issue has now been resolved and the show sounds better than ever.
On to Episode 5, I’m delighted to welcome Chelese Belmont and Shannan Leigh Reeve. They’re the founders of Beleeve Entertainment and this interview ties in perfectly with yesterday’s theme of women making their mark in today’s Hollywood. Chelese and Shannan are currently campaigning on indiegogo to finish their new feature “Penumbra” which takes an honest and unapologetic look at the struggles of addiction from several sides.
“Penumbra” tells the story of Erin Jacobs, a gifted artist who’s harboring a destructive cocaine addiction. She has a run-in with a police officer Valerie, who has a past scarred by her own addiction. Erin struggles to find sobriety but Valerie shows us how hard sobriety is to maintain.
Shannan and Chelese are two women who wear many hats on a movie set and they’re trailblazing their way across the indie scene making the movies they believe should be made. They’re setting a tremendous example to all of us who want to make films but are sometimes intimidated by the complexity of the studio system. The work they’re doing reminds us that if you truly want to achieve something, there’s really nothing stopping you. This a great conversation about believing in yourself and making your own path, especially in the face of glass ceilings and preconceived notions. I’m really proud that they took time out of their busy schedule to appear on my podcast:
For more on “Penumbra”, check out the links below. And again, if you can’t donate money, please share these links on social media. This is an important and universal story that will speak to a lot of people’s lives. Spreading the word will help this movie find those people:
Just wanted to check in about some exciting developments with the old HTD Express.
First, a little bad news. Unfortunately, there was a fair amount of Skype cutout on the Dan & Travis interview toward the end there. I don’t think it took away from the overall enjoyment of the show as I’ve gotten some nice feedback, but it’s more than I would like. So this weekend I will be looking into some upgrades to minimize that as best I can. Bear with me, I’m a one man show making it up as a I go along but I want this to be as well-done as possible.
Speaking of feedback, I’ve gotten some great compliments from some of you and I’m very grateful and humbled to hear them. Comments are always welcome (name-calling is not) but a few folks have asked me in private, “Mind if I comment” or “Do you mind if I share this.” Let me put it on the record: It is very OK with me if you share this blog. This isn’t being produced for money or anything, just collecting positive and productive insight about screenwriting and the entertainment biz. This meant for public consumption to help people who are stuck at the typewriter and spread useful info in this age of plenty of misinformation on the internet. Please feel free to share any blog you’d like on facebook, twitter, bulletin boards, pinterest or foursquare if that even works. Thanks very much. Together, we can save the internet.
Moving on to some good, dare I say, GREAT news. I’m excited to announce that starting tomorrow the Handsome Timmy D Express audio segments will be streaming on The Chronic Rift network! For those who are unfamiliar, the Chronic Rift is one of the premiere, if not THE premiere network of podcasts covering pop culture. The people who participate in their podcastsis Who’s Who of creative talent suchDr. Arnold T Blumberg, Scott Alan Woodard, Keith RA DeCandido, Paul K Bisson and Bill Meeks just to name few:
and of course, they have a really awesome show in The Dan & Travis Show: http://www.chronicrift.com/node/4448
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Lots of great shows on there and I’m delighted my interviews will be found there as well.
Speaking of the interviews, got some really exciting folks lined up including but not limited to, other screenwriters on the festival circuit, a creative executive, a researcher and even a college professor. Next week, I’m scheduled to interview a Director/Producer team who blazing their own way through the business and we’ll be talking about the world of independent film, crowdfunding and their heartfelt drama which is dealing with the battles of addiction. Oh and they’re women so we’re also going to talk about breaking perceptions and glass ceilings that women unfairly face. Their movie looks great & check out their indiegogo fund here:
Work commitments permitting, I’m going to do my best to schedule things going forward with a written blog on Monday and Audio Post on Tuesday. I know people are reading and listening by their own timetables but still I’ve noticed some stability to posting helps traffic so there you have it.
If you’re an industry pro whom I know, please don’t feel slighted I haven’t ask you to be on the show yet. There’s scheduling issues and a method to my programming/recording but there’s no one I’m not avoiding anyone. Trust me, if I’ve worked with you over the past 10 years, I want to interview you. Most of you. 60% at least. (There’s a lot of dicks out there)
If you’re an industry pro or have a project/film/script whom I don’t know and you’d like to talk about it on the Express here, shoot me an email at htd@handsometimmyd.com and we’ll see what we can figure out. This whole project is about getting a myriad of viewpoints and insights about the creative process so I’d love to hear from you.
And to recap, I’m thrilled with the interview numbers so far, but just in case you’ve not heard the shows yet here’s a quick recap.
Episode 1: An interview with Matt The Cat, world-renowned Radio DJ: https://handsometimmydexpress.com/2014/07/08/the-handsome-timmy-d-express-an-interview-with-matt-the-cat/
Episode 2: An interview with Megan Karasch, novelist and award winning screenwriter: https://handsometimmydexpress.com/2014/07/14/an-interview-with-megan-karasch/
Episode 3: An interview with Mike Doto, director and digital media producer: https://handsometimmydexpress.com/2014/07/23/brazen-moves-an-interview-with-mike-doto/
Episode 4: An interview with Dan & Travis, podcasters and masters of pure hilarity: https://handsometimmydexpress.com/2014/07/29/radio-genius-an-interview-with-dan-travis/
Thanks again everyone for reading, listening and sharing. Be well and all the best…
I’ll be doing more writing about writing this week or next, but I wanted to keep the Handsome Timmy D Express rolling with another blogcast.
This week I welcome one of Hollywood’s most promising up and coming screenwriters. Megan Karasch has scored highly on the Black List website (as in 8 & 9 highly) and is the winner of the 2013 Fresh Voices Screenplay Competition in the Half Hour TV Pilots category. She’s attracted plenty of attention for her work including from an independent producing team who are shopping a sitcom she developed for them.
On this episode, Megan explores the up’s & down’s of self-publishing, how she finds time to write with a full-time job and the challenges facing women writers in today’s ever-changing industry landscape:
For More on Megan and her books, check out the links below:
Let me open by thanking everyone for their kind words and feedback on the blog. Readership is growing at a steady but enthusiastic pace it seems and I couldn’t be more happy with where things are at after 8 weeks of launching, so cheers everyone. I’m so glad people are enjoying this!
I’ve been playing with this idea for a while of bringing in other industry pros to talk about the various forms/struggles/joys of the creative life. I’m going to try to line up an interview each week but scheduling may offer some challenges. I’ve got an extensive black book to dig into but am also happy to hear from & feature other aspiring screenwriters, filmmakers or whatnot who are either on the stage or trying to make their way to the stage who have thoughts to share.
This week, we start with someone who is truly excellent at what they decided to do. Matt The Cat is a renowned and acclaimed DJ with experience ranging high school radio to world-famous WERS at Emerson College all the way to his own prime-time show that ran nearly a decade on XM/Sirius. And he’s not stopped there. You’ll hear more about his adventures in the interview, but suffice to say he’s been entertaining a multitudinous and voluminous audience for over 2 decades.
I want to keep this blog about the creative challenges of writing (and screenwriting) in particular but already in this first interview I was very surprised (and pleasantly) so at how similar the creative aims of a DJ and a screenwriter actually are. Hopefully more common ground and challenges will be found as the series progresses.
Now, quick disclaimer: this is sort-of accidental podcasting, a warts and all conversation recorded over Skype, so a few words cut out here and there. If more people keep tuning & reading, I’ll look into upgrading then. Right now, for me, the content is the most important thing so bear with me if it doesn’t sound like a Podcast one production (because it’s not) but this is a great listen with some very poignant reminders from someone who’s excelled in their field.
Without any further ado, sit back, relax and grab a seat on The Handsome Timmy D Express with Matt The Cat:
For more on Matt The Cat, his career and the work he’s doing now to keep music history alive, check out the links below:
I got some really nice feedback on my “Fear Of Failure” entry, so cheers all! This week’s entry can be seen as a sequel to that little tome because since then well, old Handsome Timmy D had to seek out some of his own advice.
I can’t get into too much detail for certain legal reasons (those terms & conditions on a contract aren’t there just for your health, you know) but let’s just say that there was an opportunity and there was a mistake in a script and said opportunity turned into rejection. And there’s no one else I can blame for that mistake. I made it. It was my fault. I could blame it on taking on too much, being overwhelmed or tired from various projects, but that’s all a cop-out. I’m a freelance writer and producer. I set my own schedule. I made those decisions. The mistake was mine and mine alone.
I failed.
So what do you do when you fail?
Aspiring screenwriters are assaulted on many fronts by various platitudes and axioms that try to help take the sting out of the constant rejection that a writer faces. What made this particular rejection sting was that it was possibly preventable. This particular deal cost a lot of man hours and resources so for this to happen was nothing short of devastating. And tweets of “just keep writing” or “every rejection is just another opportunity” don’t hold a lot of water when you watch all that time and work slip down the drain.
Because here’s the thing – we can’t be afraid of failure. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like a mother fucker when it happens. Peyton Manning didn’t whistle while he packed up his locker after losing to Seattle saying “oh well, there’s always next year.” I don’t know Mr. Manning but I think it’s fair to say that when watching his Super Bowl aspirations be swallowed up by the Seattle Seahawks in resounding fashion, his millions of dollars, numerous accolades and countless records set didn’t amount to squat. At least not in that moment. The pain of current losing can far outweigh the joys of past success.
The entertainment industry is a minefield of constant rejections. Even if I were to lucky enough to sell a show tomorrow, it would then go to development where there’s plenty of time for it to be shelved. Even if we shoot the pilot, the network may not pick it up for series. Even if we get to series, the audience may shit on it and it might be cancelled within a few episodes. There’s MANY more failures in the industry than successes, which is one of the main reasons why so many smart, rational people say “fuck that” and walk away from the starting line.
And no one is immune from the pain of failures. Did you know Jack Nicholson is still mad about being passed over for The Graduate? You think George Lucas, deep down inside, is OK about how unpopular the prequels are? And of course, I stated in a previous blog that Michael Jordan knows exactly how many game-losing misses he’s had.
There’s so many stories and interviews where the pain and misery of the rejection is glossed over. “We passed so-and-so and it got rejected by every studio in town before so-and-so picked it up.” Yeah, you think those days were skipping through the fields with butterflies sitting on their shoulders? Yes, it’s part of the business, but yes there’s a lot of pain being reconciled as well. After every pass, there’s a lot of looking in the mirror before the next meeting. Because each pass, no matter how “part of the business” it is, is a kick in the nuts.
You want to cry. You want to throw things across the room. You want to hate everyone else who is successful. The pain of failure is overwhelming and I think, sometimes in our minds, it’s more powerful than the joys of victory.
Here’s a philosophy that I subscribe to and it’s one I’ve gotten from other writers of varying success:
You Get One.
One hour, one day, one week…one month or one year, that’s a bit long. But you get one. You can’t bottle up that pain. You can’t just swallow down the agony of defeat, painting on a fake smile while tears stream down your face. You can’t just tell yourself, “I’ll just keep rewriting and it’ll get better lalala”. That sounds as hollow as “There’s always next year.”
So go ahead and hurt. Feel the pain, feel the anger, don’t bottle it up. You need to cry over it? Do it. Who cares? Want to put someone’s face on a punching bag and punch it infinitely. Go ahead! (I think my face has ended up on a few boxing bags, much to my great amusement) Go ahead, feel the failure and HURT.
But for only one. You get to hurt for one hour, one day or even one week. I know of more than one person who’s had to lock themselves away for week watching People’s Court & Price Is Right while cussing the rest of the world until their resolve is built back up.
I took my one. The shitstorm rolled into port on a Sunday night like a Deadliest Catch act break. Monday was a wash. I forced myself to do my DDP Yoga and that was my positive achievement of the day. The rest of the day was filled with a steady diet of the couch, daytime TV and generally being envious of the cat who’s major stress of the day was getting more treats or fending off my attempts at cuddles. I was emotionally exhausted and daresay, in some small way could relate to those game-winning loses athletes suffer from. I had the game winning catch that would take us to the playoffs in my hands – and then it hit the ground. I was staring at the ball on the grass while the other team showered in champagne. (Only, I don’t have the 24 million dollar contracts those guys have but again, in those moments, for guys that really care, there is no money in the world.)
That Monday I plummeted to sleep. Tuesday, I woke up, pulled myself out of bed and I was back at it. It was hard, but that was the moment when the platitudes and axioms had to be heeded. I took my one. The time for feeling sorry for myself had passed. There was work to do, there were changes to make, there were new deals to be made. By coincidence or maybe that’s just the way it is, sure enough on that Tuesday afternoon – another deal appeared on the horizon. It’s almost as big an opportunity as the lost one. It’s not signed, sealed or delivered by any stretch but the fight is back on. 48 hours after the first deal went south, new games were already being played. It was next year.
I saw the producer I work with the most a few weeks later. I told him about this deal going south and the mistake I made. He smiled wide and patted me on the back, clinking my glass. “If you’re gonna get in the ring, you gotta take some body blows,” he said. It was akin to that moment in Goodfellas after Henry gets pinched for the first time, “you broke your cherry.”
I had experienced one of my early major rejections, one of many that a writer will face over their career (the length of which is up to them). I took my body blows, I took the pain – and of course, I stayed in the ring. Quite frankly, I don’t know how to be anywhere else.
He’s right. These rejections and failures are part of the business. If you want to play pro football, you’re going to lose some playoff games. If you want to win the UFC title, you’re going to be punched in the face. If you want to be a screenwriter in Hollywood, you will face countless rejections.
So any aspiring writers who are reading this, I hope this offers some small comfort or a helpful reminder when the shitstorm rolls into your port: It’s OK to hurt when you don’t qualify for the festival or when you don’t get staffed or that producer passes on your project. Feel the hurt for that one hour, one day or even one week. But if you really well and truly want this, you’ll take your one then get back at it. Because if you don’t, there are plenty of people out there who will.
The 27 favorites and 13 retweets all came from total strangers. It seems I struck a welcome chord in today’s rough and tumble internet frontier. This was the original post I was replying to:
For the record, I do not know Wil Wheaton. I’ve never met him either through industry connections or at fan conventions. He’s not endorsed me writing this blog and I do not speak for him in anycapacity whatsoever. Unlike VictorWTF, I’m a fan of his work in Star Trek: The Next Generation (arguably the best US Science Fiction show ever) and especially his performance in “Stand By Me”. Mr. Wheaton and I both share a love of the LA Kings and Doctor Who. He’s done a tremendous job reinventing himself on-line and has the reputation of being an easy-going, fun-loving, all-around good guy.
He’s also an adult, a well-seasoned celebrity and certainly doesn’t need me sticking up for him or fighting his battles. But still I had to say something on the twitter because there’s nothing quite as despicable and gutless as anonymous trolling, is there? And considering how folks responded to my tweet and some recent events, I figured this is a good time to investigate the modern phenomenon of anonymous internet bravery.
I’m kind of disappointed that the term troll has evolved to be used beyond the anonymous. I remember (or maybe I misunderstood the term, I’m not 20 anymore) just a year or so ago when the trolls were only the cowards who hid behind aliases and fake photos. Now trolling can be referring to even passing criticism of a celebrity or public figure. I don’t think this is a good thing as I believe the cowards hiding behind keyboards deserve an exclusive epithet and “troll” more than fits.
Of course, irrational criticism of celebrities wasn’t born during the internet age but it seems like our online world has either shone a spotlight onto it or brought a lot of scum rising to the surface. The fine folks at Jimmy Kimmel Live know how to make a joke out of it:
But take a look at some of those twitter handles. Very few use a proper name and who knows if that’s even a real name.
The internet gives voice to the voiceless in many grand ways explored by both symbolic and practical activism. But it also gives voice to the voiceless who have found no other way of expressing themselves productively.
Let me be very clear though, this blog is not meant as an indictment against online criticism. This blog is an indictment of those who criticize without taking responsibility for their words and actions. I like to debate and discuss a wide-range of topics on my twitter account (@handsometimmyd, go on, give a follow if you’re so inclined) but I have one policy: People can disagree with me all they want but anyone using a fake alias and/or doesn’t have a picture of a real person gets only one reply – and that’s usually to tell them they’re blocked.
(Now might be a good time to mention I will employ a similar policy on this blog. Disagreement, vehement or otherwise, is more than welcome in the comment section. Name-calling of myself or others will not be approved by this handsome devil.)
See, it’s hard to argue with someone in your real voice using your real face. That requires the possibility of consequences. It SUCKS being wrong, doesn’t it? No one likes to be wrong, even fewer like to admit it. But it happens to the best of us. I’ve been wrong hundreds of times (back in 2002, I thought the Iraq War was a good idea until the WMDs were evidently not in existence. I’ve gotten numerous technical details wrong. I’ve had to admit when I’ve written the wrong thing in a script or produced an episode of TV in the wrong direction. In 1996, I even thought the internet would be a fad soon to tire out. Yup, I was wrong about all that shit.) The sun still rises and sets of course. As much as it sucks to be wrong about stuff, it’s simply part of the human experience, much like failure that I’ve written about before. But there’s something refreshing about writing about all that stuff openly – I can say (hell, I just put it in writing) that I’m man enough to admit that I’ve been wrong and not only that, learned quite a lot from those and other experiences of being “wrong.”
It’s funny but the older I get, which is each passing minute, the more I can admit I don’t know – and ironically, that makes me feel a lot smarter.
So everyone hates to be wrong. If there’s anyone out there who likes it, I’ve not had the pleasure of meeting them. But there’s more to it than that. Hiding behind a keyboard and alias not only hides you from consequence – it hides you from hurt. Maybe Victorhcj reveals everything about himself in his profile somewhere. I don’t know but I doubt it. Because when you hide behind an alias you can say “YOU SUCK” all day long at people – and no one can say “YOU SUCK” back at you, not really.
Attacking people like this is engaging in a kind of modern day duel. But it’s a duel that goes only one way. The target gets all the rocks thrown at them, but the rocks that are thrown back are sent to the alias – not the true identity of the attacker. That person can go about their day, feeling like they’ve accomplished something or giving themselves a false sense of superiority because they took it upon themselves to act like some of kind of digital Grover Norquist, thinking they speak for the rest of us. In the example above, VictorPussyface speaks for “a significant amount of people” who hate Wil Wheaton because “he sucks.” Whatever scientific method he used to take this survey and the exact statistical results of said survey, he elected not to post.
“But Tim, you’re calling Victor names and I may have seen you tweet John Boehner calling him an asshole once or twice. Isn’t that hypocritical of you? What’s the difference?” I don’t think it’s hypocritical at all. You see, I’m not hiding. I’m Tim Davis. My resume is available online at imdb and linkedin. I appear regularly on a podcast. My personal email is easy to find and my phone number is on my calling card which is all over town.
I got into a very fierce debate with John Cusack on twitter last year about the Edward Snowden gambit. I didn’t troll him. I didn’t name-call him. We just debated several points and I didn’t hide behind any alias. He was debating with Tim Davis. He knows my name & he knows my face. I wasn’t some weird troll with a weirder name or a stupid picture. In fact, I’m guessing Mr. Cusack engaged me in debate for so long BECAUSE I didn’t hide behind keyboard courage. God knows, celebrities hear from countless nameless trolls every day, and as much as he disagreed with me, I wouldn’t be surprised if I got a hearty handshake from him one day over the whole affair.
And it’s not just celebrities. I’m going to share three cases of anonymous trolling in my life. They were some parts hurtful, borderline frightening and all equally pathetic.
The first occurred when I was in High School. I was pranked called regularly by someone who instilled a fair amount of verbal abuse toward me. They always used a different name when calling but never their real one. It being small-town New Jersey, it wasn’t hard to figure out who it was. I could tell you his name but it wouldn’t mean anything to you. His main purpose was trying to goad me into a meeting or confrontation. He told me to meet him at several points at certain times. I took him up on none of these rendezvous figuring that physical harm was on the agenda and who needs that? We came close to calling the police but after hanging up on him so many times, he got bored and moved on to God knows what. I don’t know where he is or what he’s up to. And I don’t care.
The second occurred in 2004. Remember Friendster? Well, I was new to LA and someone set up a dummy account for the sole purpose of sending me one email. The account was called “Cheez Whiz” and I doubt that appears on any birth certificate. And there was no profile picture. The gist of the email? I was unwelcome in LA amongst my group of friends. No one in LA liked me and also that despite my best efforts, I was ugly and bald. This letter came at a particularly low period of time. I was recently in a car accident and going through a very tough transition at work. I hate to admit it, but this letter threw me for a loop. I asked several of my friends what they thought of it and was given many numerous assurances that yes, I was indeed welcome in LA and that whoever sent the letter was the real asshole. Really didn’t take that much to eventually figure out who it was that wrote that one either. I’ve never confronted the person for 2 reasons 1) Deference to mutual friends. I don’t want people to worry about inviting both of us to a party in case of drama 2) Is there really any point? More on that later.
And you know what’s even more ironic, I was put in a position a few times to help this person out – and I did. You know why? Because I’m not the person they think I am – I’m a lot better person than they think I am.
The third instance I’m going to tell you about came up because of this blog. Yup, I got my first piece of hate mail on my piece about guns “Just Another Day In America.” It was from a dummy account under the name “Ed.” No picture, of course. This person had this to say – and this is the one and only time I will allow abusive comments like this on the blog and it’s simply for context:
Knew this POS trust fund baby when he lived in Boston. Arrogant beyond belief. Especially for a guy with hair grown nearly down to the small of his back in order to compensate for his advanced male pattern baldness. (FYI: Everyone laughed about it behind your back.) So nice to know that back in those days you were screaming into your laundry basket when you weren’t being a condescending prick to anyone who wasn’t a woman, a racial minority, a homosexual, or uglier than you. Btw, how’s your talk show that you used to tell everyone you’d have?
I find the last part weird because the talk show I told everyone about was the podcast I’m part of now. The Dan & Travis Show. It’s awesome. Check it out. We did it in 2002 during the infancy of internet radio and we restarted it last year. And it was very easy to find via google, so Ed can’t even do simple homework (always important when throwing stones).
(Side-note about the hairline thing: It’s low and crude to attack someone for something they have little-to-no control over. Ed, like Cheez-Whiz, sound like that goofy thug in “Roxanne” saying “big nose” because I can come with 20 better jokes off the top of my head easy.)
Ed here decided to attack me opening up about personal pain here. Well, I’m a writer. Every writer will have to be honest with themselves and write about their personal pain for all the world to see. If he thinks this is detracting me from doing more opening up about personal pain, I have disappointing news for him. In fact, I have A LOT of disappointing news for him in a bit.
So, you may be asking yourself – well shit, Tim, did you deserve this? Ed from Boston says you were arrogant beyond belief. Were you arrogant? Were you an asshole? Were you some kind of prick? Did you say things that hurt people’s feelings? Did you offend people, however accidentally?
Of course, I did. I’m plenty guilty of things like that. Like being wrong, it’s part of the human experience. Anyone NOT full of piss & vinegar in their 20’s? (And if you weren’t, MAN did you miss out.) Am I arrogant? I think my confidence has slid to the arrogant/egotistic side at times. Sure, I’ll cop to that. There’s always room for lessons in humility. Am I an asshole? Well, of course there have been many situations and conversations I wish I handled better but that’s certainly not unique to me. We’ve all had those. There are plenty of people in this world who don’t like me. But here’s the interesting thing: many of the reasons some people don’t like me are the very reasons other people like me. So what in the world did I do to make these people so upset that they had to sum up all of their false internet bravery to anonymously try to hurt my feelings.
Because trolling has one purpose and one purpose only: to hurt people.
Besides, any betterment I’ve received as a person has been face to face from real friends – not unsigned letters from gutless trolls.
Like I said, I know who two of these people are (sorry, “Ed’, for the life of me, I have no clue who you are). And when I looked at their lives then looked at mine, I realized what I had done. I wasn’t being trolled because I was an asshole sometimes. I was being trolled from the very opposite reason. Here’s my great sin:
I’m a happy and successful person.
(Yeah, OK, I’m a lot more outspoken and opinionated than some others which will of course lead to being targeted more – though I’m not sure how that justifies being trolled. Especially because I am an easy to find open book who is more than happy to talk about anything.)
But when I look at the totality of my life and accomplishments, I can see what makes these sad people so angry:
-My closest friends are truly golden human beings anyone reading this would be glad to know. I can’t begin to describe my luck when I think of the people I’m closest with.
-I’m in a healthy, long-term relationship with a successful, intelligent and beautiful woman with no low standards. (It doesn’t hurt that I can cook too)
-I have 614 Facebook friends & believe it or not, I’m selective. If I can’t see myself having lunch with you, I’m not approving the friend request.
-I have worked alongside, learned from and been instructional to some of the most talented people in my chosen profession. My services have been requested by some of the best crews in Los Angeles. My skills as a writer have been endorsed by movie producers, film festivals and other more-acclaimed writers. That is not only an honor, it’s a privilege.
-I have close to 800 twitter followers, not always folks I know but many acquired through networking as I transition from reality to scripted.
-I’m also blessed and fortunate to be able to say that I have friends and family who would put me up in the following cities; Seattle, Phoenix, Boston, Salem, Baltimore, Minneapolis, Houston, Chicago, Orlando, Gibbsboro, Las Vegas, New York, San Francisco, and London. I know this because they’ve told me “You have to visit us.”
-I say none of this with any kind of arrogance. It may literally be impossible for me to truly express the gratitude I feel for the life I’m living. And the same can be said for so many of the people I choose to spend my precious time with. People who worked hard and smart to live the lives they want on the paths they’ve chosen.
-I’ve been successful in every profession I’ve endeavored on, from being promoted to the corporate office at City Sports to writing copy for Stone Cold Steve Austin. I smile as I go about my day. I dance in the shower. I sing in the car. When I set out into the world, I know that I’m in my own small way, helping. I’ve followed my bliss. Just like Wil Wheaton. Just like countless other celebrities. Just like countless other successful people who are not famous but are living happy lives as I type this. Just like anyone who looks in the mirror and likes what they see.
And THAT’S what the trolls can’t stand. When others are happy – and they’re not. So instead of following their own bliss or doing what they can to make themselves either happier or at least on the way to happiness, it’s easier to try to tear down others. Especially from behind an internet shield where they can hide their plentiful vulnerabilities, insecurities and hurts.
Because underneath every angry, hateful line a troll is writing, is one underlying thought:
“How dare you try to be happy when I’m not?”
For my past sins, anyone whom I owe an apology to has gotten it. I will, however, never ever under any circumstances apologize for being successful or trying to be happy. No one should ever apologize for that.
Because to take to a nameless, faceless identity to attack someone, God almighty. That’s a bit more than just an asshole move. It’s not merely pathetic or weak or gutless or petty.
It’s sick.
To be so consumed by hatred and anger and jealousy – whatever world these guys and other anonymous internet keyboard haters inhabit is a frightening and sad place. I hope you, dear reader, and I never end up there.
So, Ed, Cheez-Whiz and every other internet troll hiding behind a keyboard: YES, I dare to be happy. And I will continue to be happy. I will continue to endeavor and bust my ass every day to further my career. I will continue to improve my writing skills. I will continue to try to be a better, more generous, more thoughtful, more considerate person. I will continue to blog my thoughts and opinions under my real name Tim Davis (and my wrestling-bump earned nickname of Handsome Timmy D) for the world to see, read, enjoy and disagree with.
Over the past 15 years, I can think of about 6 or 7 people whom I truly despise. A handful of folks whom I find irredeemable in any way, folks whom I can say I truly HATE. I think about them sometimes, my blood boils for a few minutes – and then I move on with my day. I do my best to keep them in the rearview because that’s how I handle people I hate. I have nothing to do with them. No contact whatsoever, via social media or otherwise (again apart from mutual politeness for the benefit of our friends). They become non-issues in my life aside from what the memory triggers.
I want to have a happy, successful and productive life. I want to laugh and be giddy and over the top and goofy and silly and dance like there’s no tomorrow. And no matter how bad a day, no matter how stressed or overwhelmed I get, no matter who vehemently I argue my points – I just don’t ever want to live a life where I hurt people.
I hadn’t thought of the prank caller in years, Cheez-Whiz I still see now and then but Ed’s hateful email brought them to the surface. But return to the rearview they will where I’m sure they’ll be joined by more future anonymous trolls.
However, Ed did me an accidental favor. I went onto social media outlets announcing that this dear old blog had received its first piece of hate mail. The result? The traffic on the blog Skyrocketed to see what the hubbub was about:
Funny, but it looks like a middle finger right at Ed, doesn’t it? It was my most read day and almost served as a kind of coming out party for me as I’m restarting this blog and am still building my readership. And that’s how I have to take that hate-mail just like how people should take every bit of anonymous trolling: Just another sign of success.
Epilogue:
When you leave a comment on here, you have to give an email so with Ed’s trolling was an email address. I don’t know if it was his real email address or not. I wasn’t going to reply because it’s best not to fight on their terms, but because my traffic exploded, I couldn’t resist. Just in case he hijacked someone else’s email, I hid the real name I found when I researched it. But here’s the email I sent to him. To the surprise of no one, there’s been no reply.
After all, there’s bravery quite like anonymous internet bravery:
Hello Ed or (name excised),
You gave the name Ed to wordpress but when I researched your email, I found the name “(excised)”. If you are neither of these people, then your email has been hijacked or erroneously used & I apologize for bothering you on this lovely Saturday.
If I am addressing the person who commented on my blog, though, I must first Thank You Very Much for your interest and comments. However, I have a policy of not allowing name-calling in the comments sections so I’m afraid I couldn’t approve your comment.
I must Thank You again though because when I publicized your comment as my first piece of hate-mail (you must admit, it was on the hateful side) the traffic to my blog DOUBLED in an hour. Today has been my highest traffic/read day so far so Thanks to your comment, you’ve been able to contribute to my growing digital popularity. I’m new at this blogging thing so I appreciate all the help I can get.
I have to correct you on one small detail, I am not associated with nor ever have been associated with any trust funds. I earned every dollar I ever got, whether in retail or over the past 10 years as a Television Producer in which I contributed to shows which have entertained millions of people around the world.
You claim to know me well, but for the life of me, I cannot remember you who are. (No Eds or xx ring a bell, xx or otherwise) Sorry, but try as I might, I’ve not lived in Boston or on the East Coast for over 12 years so forgive me for not recalling you out of the hundreds of people I knew & worked with during those years.
I wish you all the best – and quite frankly, hope you find some peace in the world instead of anonymously attacking people you haven’t seen in over a decade. Take Care.
May The Best Days Be Ahead… —————
Tim Davis Writer/Producer handsometimmyd.wordpress.com
The Handsome Timmy D Express 